November is marketed as the cozy month. Apparently, we’re all meant to be wrapped in a blanket, holding a cinnamon drink, looking wistfully at a window while our homes glow with tasteful candles. I don’t know who has time to arrange that scene, but I suspect she has no school forms due and a much better relationship with laundry than I do.
This year, November feels different. My mum died in September, and I’m still finding my way through the ordinary days that keep happening around grief. There’s parenting, work, writing, and all the small things that don’t politely pause because your heart is busy. As a mental health professional, I know grief doesn’t follow a tidy calendar. As a daughter, I wish it did.
So when I ask myself what I want to leave behind this November, the answer is not my mum. I’m not trying to ritual my way out of missing her. I want to leave behind the pressure to be “fine” on schedule, and the idea that a meaningful season has to look beautiful from the outside.
That feels like a more honest place to begin a little November magic.
The tiny ritual I’m actually doing
I’m keeping this one simple: a drink, a notebook, and three questions. No elaborate altar. No shopping trip for a special candle. No discovering halfway through that the ritual needs seven ingredients and a degree in herbology.
I write down:
What am I carrying with me?
What can I put down for tonight?
What am I looking forward to, even a little?
That last question matters to me. I’m not asking myself to feel cheerful or grateful on command. I’m just leaving a little space for the things I do want: quiet moments with my daughter and partner, the comfort of familiar routines, and working on my new Yule book. Looking forward to something small doesn’t cancel out what hurts. The two can sit at the same table. Ideally with tea.
If you want to try it, make the questions your own. Maybe you write one word. Maybe you answer in your head while the kettle boils. Maybe the only honest answer is “I’m looking forward to going to bed.” Excellent. A plan with a clear deliverable.
What November means to me this year
In many modern Wheel of the Year traditions, Samhain is observed around October 31 and November 1, with Yule connected to the winter solstice in December. I like the idea of this month as a stretch of in-between time. But I don’t think the in-between has to be a productivity challenge where I prepare perfectly for the next festival.
For me, it can mean noticing what’s here. A darker afternoon. A family moment I want to remember. A hard day that doesn’t need to become a lesson. A small thing I can choose to do for myself, instead of adding another “should” to the list.
If you’re a witch, or witch-curious, and November has you feeling more tired than enchanted, you’re still allowed to have a practice. It can be a candle you light safely while you sit for five minutes. It can be opening the window and noticing the cold air. It can be deciding that today’s ritual is not taking on one more thing. And yes, these are the things that seem meaningless enough that we don’t do them, but I decided to try them this year, and it has changed a lot of things for me.
What I’m leaving behind—and what I want to make room for
I’m leaving behind the demand that grief be neat, that parenting be endlessly patient, and that every seasonal celebration earn its place through effort. I want to make room for small comforts, for time with the people I love, and for writing the stories and rituals I wish I could hand to someone else on a difficult day.
Your answers might be completely different. Perhaps you’re leaving behind a draining commitment, a perfectionist holiday plan, or the belief that you need to feel magical before you can do something meaningful. Perhaps you’re looking forward to a book, a quiet morning, seeing someone you miss, or simply getting through the week. You don’t have to make the answer impressive. It just has to be yours.
And if you want gentle practices for days when even getting out of bed feels like a negotiation with a very stubborn committee, Easy Magic for When You Can’t Get Out of Bed is available here. You can also browse my free books and start with whichever one meets you where you are.
November magic, for me, is not pretending everything is lovely. It’s making a little room for what I miss, what I can set down for tonight, and what I’m still looking forward to. That feels like enough. And frankly, enough is having a very good month.
A few questions I get about witchcraft in November
What do witches do in November?
There isn’t one rulebook for every witch or Pagan tradition. I’m treating November as a personal in-between month: a time to notice the season, decide what I need to put down for now, and make room for something I’m looking forward to.
Is there a November sabbat?
In the commonly used modern Wheel of the Year, Samhain is followed by Yule at the winter solstice in December. Some people see November as an in-between period; traditions and calendars vary.
Can I do a November ritual if I’m grieving or exhausted?
Yes, if a small ritual feels supportive to you. It doesn’t have to fix grief or create a certain feeling. You can write one sentence, sit with a warm drink, or skip it altogether.
What is a simple November witchcraft ritual?
Try writing three short answers: what you’re carrying, what you can put down for tonight, and what you’re looking forward to. Keep it honest and small. No special supplies required.
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