Sonia M. Rompoti, MSc, bsc

Let’s begin with a confession.

When someone asks, “How do you practice self-care?” most of us answer automatically. “I take a bath.” “I go for walks.” “I get a manicure every month.”

And sure, those are lovely. But are they care… or just pause buttons?

Real self-care is not always scented candles and soft playlists. Sometimes, it’s fierce. Uncomfortable. Raw. Sometimes, it’s letting go of the people who exhaust you, or saying no when guilt tells you otherwise. Sometimes, it’s finally making that doctor’s appointment you’ve been dreading for months.

Let’s sit with that for a moment.

The Myth of the Bubble Bath

There’s a cultural version of self-care that looks amazing on Instagram: white robes, herbal tea, 7-step skincare routines. And while those rituals have their place, they don’t always touch the wound.

Because some days, self-care is not about adding. It’s about subtracting.

• Subtracting shame.
• Subtracting the belief that you must earn your rest.
• Subtracting the constant pressure to perform, be productive, or show up “just fine.”

True self-care begins when you dare to ask yourself: What do I really need?

When Self-Care Gets Messy

What do you do when the answer to that question is inconvenient?

What if you need rest—but people depend on you?
What if you need space—but you don’t want to be alone?

This is where the practice part comes in. Self-care is not a destination; it’s an evolving relationship with yourself. Some days, you’ll get it beautifully right. Other days, you’ll forget to eat lunch and realize at 11PM that you haven’t had a sip of water.

That doesn’t mean you failed. It means you’re human.

What Self-Care Can Actually Look Like-Especially for an Indie Author like myself

Let’s be honest: being an indie author is a beautiful dream wrapped in a never-ending to-do list. You’re the writer, editor, marketer, designer, accountant, cheerleader, and sometimes even your own competition.

And while the world might assume your biggest challenge is “writer’s block,” the truth is that burnout doesn’t come from not writing — it comes from never stopping.

So what does self-care look like in this world?

Sometimes it means closing your laptop even when your inner critic screams, “You didn’t post today.”
Sometimes it’s letting an email go unanswered so your mind can rest.
Sometimes it’s reminding yourself that slow growth is still growth.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

• Self-care is turning off your analytics dashboard when it starts defining your worth.
• Self-care is writing the story your heart aches to write, not just what the algorithm favors.
• Self-care is unfollowing authors who make you feel like you’re constantly behind.
• Self-care is setting a “writing boundary”—like not working past 7 p.m. or not writing on Sundays.

It might also be choosing to publish that book even if it’s not “perfect,” because perfectionism is often just fear in disguise.

As an indie author, your mind is your studio, your brand, your fuel, and your sanctuary.
Taking care of it isn’t optional. It’s everything.

And remember: you didn’t become a writer to prove yourself.
You became one to tell the stories only you can tell.

So take care of the storyteller.
The stories will thank you.

Redefine It. For You.

So, let’s ask the question again, with fresh eyes:

How do you practice self-care?

Not how your favorite influencer does.
Not how your therapist suggested.
Not what your to-do list says.

But you.
In the mess. In the noise. In the realness of your life.

Start there. With honesty.
Even if your answer is, “I don’t… but I want to.”